NO STOPPING THE HUNGER

February 2, 2014 at 1:11pm

Nate Update:
today is a VERY difficult day. Nate has been extremely vocal about his food seeking. I have been checking the clock. He teases for food EVERY 10 MINUTES! I have to stop looking at the clock! stop looking! It does not help. It does not change.
I try my hardest..day in and day out, I TRY to be positive and upbeat and look for the slimmest of silver linings. and THEN
there are days like today.
*TEARS AND HEART-ACHE!!


I have to force myself to be firm, almost yelling at him...NO....No....no.....no, sorry...nope....not yet....not now....no...later...soon buddy....no....and if I get too loud...the TEARS COME!!! and the 'can I get a HUG Mommay?' OF COURSE you can get a hug buddy. :'(
and I hear: is it wunch time mommay??? is it snack? but mommay...I NEED...I hungwy mommay....mommay my tummy is grummbly...can you hear it mommay??? is it time to eat??? can I have an apple mommay, how about some raisins??? is it snack time??? I need a spoon-of-peanut-butter.

we have played with the trains, and the play-doh and we have watched 2 movies and he has played on the iPad and we had breakfast and snack and lunch and read some books and it is just past noon. I have the dishes done and I did the laundry in the bathtub and now it is drying on the rack. The sun does not know if it will shine, I am thinking we may go for a walk really very soon.


Walking on the beach is Zen for me and it is also one place where I don't allow food. Yes, sometime we go up to Sloppy Joe's and have a treat. but...If I stay on the beach the rule is NO FOOD....so, you can imagine that I LONG to be on the beach.every.day.all.day.

As I sit here trying to put together words, I am not sure if I am complaining, venting or screaming out for validation recognition, affirmation....something. Why is today harder than any other day? they are all pretty much the same. He ALWAYS teases for more food...more....more... Nate did not sleep well last night or I should say I did not sleep too well...he was talking in his sleep and when I would get up to check on him he was grinding his teeth and would hold his breath. Which in turn would cause ME to hold my breath until he resumed. it's not like I have any extra stress in my life?!

I guess it is a REALLY good thing I have such
an
AWESOME
sense
of
humor.
really.
I do.

*twitch

Thanks for letting me blow thru this wave.
Stay tuned...
I'm going to go sneak a little cry somewhere Nate can't see me.
I will be OK,really, I got this, easy-peasy, piece of cake.....

cake mommay??
can I have a bite?
is it time for wunch??
can you hear my tummy???

*UGH ~~~My heart is shredded, torn asunder and trampled on.... Poor Nate

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